Good observations and interesting to think about men’s perspective as sons, husbands, and fathers. It’s difficult to enjoy motherhood outside of a worldview or religious tradition that explicitly values it, and even then it will push you to the edge of your capabilities. It took me a long time, a mental health crisis, and a lot of therapy to allow two things to be true at once. I love taking care of my three little sons and am also frequently exhausted, overstimulated, and overwhelmed. This means I need help from their father, not judgment. I’m blessed to be married to someone who knows how to provide this when I need relief.
I wrote a criticism of "Selfish Reasons to Have more Children" saying it should have been "Selfish Reasons for Men to Have More Children" because the costs for women are higher such that it requires selflessness. A man responded I was wrong, and then when he made no headway convincing me, accused me of being selfish for only having two kids.
Good observations and interesting to think about men’s perspective as sons, husbands, and fathers. It’s difficult to enjoy motherhood outside of a worldview or religious tradition that explicitly values it, and even then it will push you to the edge of your capabilities. It took me a long time, a mental health crisis, and a lot of therapy to allow two things to be true at once. I love taking care of my three little sons and am also frequently exhausted, overstimulated, and overwhelmed. This means I need help from their father, not judgment. I’m blessed to be married to someone who knows how to provide this when I need relief.
Resonant. Thanks. Will be thinking about this for a while
Thank you!
Thank you for articulating what I probably felt, decades ago, during my (failing) temple marriage.
Excellent @eurydice especially that final para
Thank you!!
I wrote a criticism of "Selfish Reasons to Have more Children" saying it should have been "Selfish Reasons for Men to Have More Children" because the costs for women are higher such that it requires selflessness. A man responded I was wrong, and then when he made no headway convincing me, accused me of being selfish for only having two kids.
Yes! That is my point!
Oh dang, this is why my marriage failed
I chickened out of fatherhood myself for precisely this reason, but I basically agree.